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Christmas aftermath. So much to do, returns, exchanges, mending, and prep for baby!

Starting Tomorrow: 100 Days of Creativity

The exercise was inspired by a former professor of one of the photographers I work with, and we're calling it 100 Days of Creativity.

The idea is to exercise your creative muscle every day for 100 days on the same subject. That by repeating the same subject, the exploration, medium, and your perspective are challenged, rather than simply trying to come up with something new. To that end, the exercise can be any medium at all, painting, drawing, poetry, photography, collage, etc. It could be 100 mediums, one different each day, or one medium, with 100 different executions, or anything in between.

I've created a group on Flickr to share the daily exercises,you can follow our progress at: http://www.flickr.com/groups/100daysofcreativity/

Motivation

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening
That is translated through you into action,
And because there is only one of you in all of time
This expression is unique.
And if you block it,
It will never exist through any other medium,
And be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is,
Nor how valuable, or how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly,
to stay open and aware to the urges that motivate you.”

Martha Graham

Horoscope for Leo today...

WOOT

"You are ready to do the job you always wanted to do. In a weird way, you're already doing it. All that's lacking is the fat paycheck, and that is coming."

Back on track

Have to get back on track. It's almost Labor Day, and I've been lazy lazy lazy in August. Gotta get everything put back together and plan my long free weekend... And looking forward to it!

Also looking forward to this - woohoo for the crafty! StitchAustin this November.

What to do on a Solo Saturday...

Every single last one of my closest girlfriends has gone out of town (without me - how could they!), and the husband is working. So I've done the dishes, am readying the peach tart, and have to get out of the house for a while to undo the angst I've developed by talking to my mom about all the vitamins and nutritional stuff I need to be doing to take the depression "into my own hands" instead of relying on the prescription (see last post). Well, she's right on probably every single count, and I will. But for now, i'm working on not being paralyzed by overwhelm from such conversations. My poor husband (after giving him the report) kept saying, it's still early, don't worry, please still have a good day... So I'm going to finish up this post and get the hell to doin' something instead of dwellin'... Hopefully it'll work...

TodayToDo:

Grocery store
Framing place to price frames for art to put on consignment
Call the yard guy, please let me find someone who'll trim the trees for a bargain
Figure out a security company to come give an estimate on getting ours working
Figure out an AC company to get an estimate that'll make me cry (have to replace every last piece of our heating and ac system)
PLAY PLAY PLAY in the studio

Update: The Artist's Way

So i've just finished Chapter 9 or 10, I'm still just reading, haven't started the plan yet. I think in the beginning of the book it says just to read through, then start back at the beginning and actually do the plan. It's only taken me like 11 years to get through the whole thing, but this time i'm determined. I think it must be the Lexapro that's helping, anti-depressants/anxiety pills are the best. In any case, the last chapter really spoke to me, a lot, more than any other chapter in the book so far, even though the whole book seems like it was written about me and only me.

Is this inspiration?

A friend recently found a ton of inspiration to start painting again. I'm riddled with jealousy and anxiety. Usually in this vein, my jealousy turns to resentment, and I find myself actually getting ANGRY at people I know, and don't know, who find the time, motivation and commitment to create their art. I have a whole room in my house devoted to painting, arts, textiles, papers, gift wrap, everything that I love. But I avoid the room, unless it's to drop something off that i'll 'get to later.' I don't know what this is, but the few times i've kept journals over the last 15-odd years (that is to say, the 15 spirals I have, with three pages written on and then abandoned), I write about the same thing incessantly. That I need to get up and get to work.

What IS that?

The only pure joy i've ever felt was in art school, where I'd get up every day and immediately smile and think "I get to paint today." So why do I turn my back on it? and find other things that are more pressing to do?

I hate hate hate being a whiner about it. I just really want to get to the root of it. But I'm afraid that the root of it may actually be just getting to work. And I don't know how to start. Except I do, and that is just to start. Nothing else pushes me so close to crying as this subject. Because I know I need to clean up and organize the room before I can start, as if I have OCD. But I don't, it's just another stall tactic. So I stall, and grapple, and then something actually does come up that I have to take care of, and the anxiety goes away for a while. But then it comes back, when I see The Artist's Way sitting on my nightstand. Or the door to my studio is open, and I can see the rainbow of embroidery floss. And I'm haunted and taunted. About all the things I'm not doing.

I must get something out of this struggle. I don't know what it is, but I must. If I didn't, why would I let it continue?